My time with the hadrian’s walkers (http://www.hadrianswalk.org) has exposed me to a lot more parents than I normally come into contact with. And that has got me thinking about children again, in a way that I’ve not thought about for at least 5 years, since before M and I split up.
I’m not in the right place at the moment to chose to have children: work, life, finances and brain are not in the correct order. But I am aware that N is older than me, and if children are ever going to be a part of our lives, realistically it is going to have to be sooner rather than later.
There are also environmental issues going on in my head. It’s my job, I can’t help it. Should I be bringing more people into a planet where population levels are one of the major contentious issues? Or (and this sounds terrible) is it important for people who are aware of the issues to teach a new generation, so the future isn’t predominated by “chavs”?
Adoption is then probably the appropriate answer, opportunities to educate and teach, without increasing numbers. But am I even vaguely mentally strong enough for that? I can only imagine adoption as being much harder.
And yes, to a certain extent this is introspective drivel, and the cider is probably partially to blame. But I would probably be thinking the same things any day, even if I wasn’t willing to voice them.